Sunday reflections

We had our huddle yesterday - Doug, Jess and me. The purpose of the group is accountability and to be fair I hadn't followed through with 100% of what I'd committed to do last week. I said I'd start reading through epistles during my quiet time and I stuck with my old pattern instead (findingrhythms.com). I said I'd write down a kairos moment everyday - and while I thought about it everyday, I only actually recorded them twice during the week. Of course I had my reasons - adjusting back to work, traveling for the first time since having the baby, general inertia. But regardless of the reasons I didn't follow through 100% and Doug was firm in pointing that out. "Why didn't you follow through? Would you use the word laziness?" 

It stung.

I understand that the point is accountability. And that in an accountability groups it's critical to follow up with people on whether or not they followed through. But at the same time I struggle with such feelings of discouragement in my spiritual life. Often feeling like I'm not living up to who or what I should be or do. So Doug's comments, while fair, were hurtful.

A new day.

Sunday morning and Doug brought me the bible he bought me for just this task (a copy of The Message). He had marked 1st Corinthians, so all I had to do was open it and read... talk about eliminating all excuses!

The description in the introduction talks about how the people of Corinth had a reputation for being unruly and generally rowdy people. When they were under the watchful eye and stringent care of a pastor (Paul) they had cleaned up their ways. But once he left and they didn't have someone to hold their hand they had started to fall apart. This letter was Paul's response to people who had really dropped the proverbial spiritual ball. I'm sure he was frustrated with them (as Doug was with me yesterday) that they'd been given a simple task and hadn't followed through.

***sigh***

This is the description of Paul's response: "Paul's first letter to the Corinthians is a classic of pastoral response: affectionate, firm, clear and unswerving in the conviction that God among them... continued to be the central issue of their lives , regardless of how big a mess they'd made of things. Paul doesn't disown them... doesn't throw them out because of their bad behavior... doesn't go into a tirade because of their irresponsible ways. He takes it all more or less in stride, but also takes them by the hand and goes over all the old ground again..."

Then in the first chapter, sure enough he reminds them of the great things Jesus has done in their lives thus far. He doesn't dwell in the mistake, but points to their progress. And he ends verse 9 by saying, "God, who go you started in this spiritual adventure... will never give up on you. Never forget that."

It was helpful because I'm often tempted to give up on myself when I've failed yet again, and it's reassuring to hear that God is more dedicated to my progress than I am. Just a quick thought for the morning. 

I'm trying to alter my morning rhythm/time to connect with, listen to and invite God to share the day with me. My new goal is to spend 20 minutes or so each morning by myself (i.e. sans baby). I'll open with listening to Your Love is Strong (see previous post about Jon Foreman's beautiful retelling of The Lord's Prayer). Then I'm going to read from the epistles (clearly I'm in 1 Corinthians right now). Then I'm going to try to write a little every single day (something I've never been able to accomplish before). So my prayer for today is God's strength to do this again tomorrow.